Dialing In!

Hello everyone! I am attempting to add writing structure to my life. Not sure if I will publish this entry, but will start by building a writing routine again. Ten minutes a day for a week; we’ll see how it goes!

This will be stream-of-consciousness to get me back in the habit! I have been highly motivated with my creative endeavors online… this past year, my intuitive reflections have confirmed what I’ve always known; my best contributions are through my artistic endeavors. An epiphany I had recently, however, is that this doesn’t mean my artistic endeavors are the best.

I spent almost an entire decade struggling to make myself happy as a bookkeeper. Although I totally failed at establishing routine habits, I was really good at the work itself… diligent and determined until I untangled any issues. But I was sooo unhappy. It was a trade in which conforming to the systems was everything. Another thing, demand of my service exceeded supply. I always had more work than I had time to do. But, because I disliked the work so, and it created such excessive anxiety and depression in my life, I eventually closed shop.

Artistic endeavors are the opposite in terms of systems, and in terms of supply vs demand. Unique expression, creating something outside the system, is the goal. But it is not a need-based product or service, and it is exceedingly competitive, where the number of unique artists available, esp with the advent of the internet, becomes a blur of unique uploaded videos of music or art, that mostly gets lost in a sea of competition.

These thoughts are what occur to me, when I attempt to sit down and work on this blog, or my YouTube channel, or my Etsy website. Despondency has frozen me out.

I should mention too that I do part-time dogwalking, which was a shift that seemed to occur happenstance. I don’t know why I don’t think of this as a third option of life’s calling, but maybe I should. This gives me routine, and my dogs always love to see me. But I guess when I think of contributing to a legacy that will outlive me, writing and creating music keep calling me back as an imperative. So here I am, back at it!

Ok, I think I will close here, save this as a draft, and maybe eventually publish. What I wish to communicate is still not clear!